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By Teresa Newsome June 16, Making friends when you're younger just happens naturally. But making friends as an adult is more like seeing the gynecologist. Friwnds know you need to do it.

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I told her I almost canceled our session out of pure shame.

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Shake Your Friend Tree Let people know you want to start nweding social. Who are the people you sometimes see at the same parties and share mutual friends, but never have one-on-one conversations? I decided to keep our appointment. Bayard was patient and listened to me vent. And you get new skills. Cause it's not like you don't already have 30 million bajillion things to do.

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Fear not; there are options. Comment, post, make funny jokes, chat, then if things start getting pretty serious, start chatting, texting or even gasp! If you do it regularly, you'll meet people who care about the same things you care about. But making neeing as an adult is more like seeing the gynecologist.

And it's not just you. All my friends are married with.

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We met a handful of times over the years and she casually always invited me to them at a yoga class. Ask them who you should be friends with.

Start there. Volunteer Right? Up Your Social Media Game You probably have a good Facebook friends that you actively ignore and another 50 or so that you only accidentally ignore.

Friends like people with good skills. Sometimes all it takes is that one rare unicorn who kind of gets you to open up a whole new world of people. By Teresa Newsome June neeeding, Making friends when you're younger just happens naturally.

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And you probably never go to any of them. The first thing Bayard advised me to do was take inventory of people I know and who wih know. Meet Up I mean, if you have to go meet strangersthey might as well be strangers who share your same interests. And wth you're child-less, but still have a furry child as in a cat or dog or hamster, of course — let's not get weirdtry heading to a dog park.

It's better than trying to talk to people at the gym. You're OVER school.

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If you don't meet people, you'll still use your talents to do something good for the world. But before I did, I asked Bayard for advice on what to say. If you're not already meeting other parents through your part-time, unpaid transportation job, consider having a few kids and their parents over to play and chat. I felt ready to hear what Bayard had in store for me and was happy to know that there were only three challenges she wanted me to tackle over the next month to help me make friends.

Even science has looked at the issue of adult friendships and found that without serious work, it's basically all needng once you hit your late 20s. So needng I wrote each challenge down and devoted at least one week to following through on them. If you have your gab session at a park, you don't even have to clean your house or make buy snacks.

You know it's good for you. Those with social anxiety struggle because they are in their head and second guess themselves. Where do you start without resorting to combing loud bars filled with people who are actually as young as you feel but who look like middle schoolers?

You're not chasing a degree, so you can take something like pottery or bowling. I can't guarantee you won't feel like you're about to get the speculum or that you won't fall on your face and spill something that stains on something really expensive.

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And it feels like you're that exposed, too. For example, if you're a libertarian vegetarian who lives in Minnesota and you like dressing in clown make-up and juggling live sharks, there's probably a meet-up for that. She advised me to send that person a message on Instagram asking frends to get coffee. But, IMHO these have helped me snag new members for my grown-up tribe.

Once you've done it, you feel good about yourself. Trust me. If so, here's a coffee and a hug, because, for reals, that seems amazingly difficult.

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Plus, nothing makes for a popular Instagram post like a clever protest. But it's not like those super boring classes where you have these huge papers and you have to do all the work in your group projects. You don't have to become flush with all of the coolest friends in town.

I did exactly what Bayard advised and messaged her on Instagram. You know you need to do it. Most people, I thought, make friends without a strategy or game plan. But volunteering is a total win-win. OK, so maybe I'm being dramatic, but unless you're one of those natural social butterflies or one of the rare birds who still regularly hangs out with all wihh high school friends, finding new people is tough.

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